Category Archives: Sports

Smashing Smoke Vol. 2 – Thrillride Delivers an Inspirational Laser Show for UNC Wilmington

 

Obviously, this is a must watch for any College Baseball Bro. In this video, Thrillride delivers an inspiration laser-show to the defending Colonial Athletic Association Champion UNC Wilmington Baseball Team. But, Thrilly wanted to post this publicly because this applies to every single college baseball player (particularly in New England) that have spent all winter indoors, playing long-toss, lifting weights and are now ready to head down south for the spring.

Thrilly managed to drop one-liners about Jerry Sandusky, Jared Fogle and Michael J. Fox in a single video about baseball. Those are the names that made the cut. I edited out how pitchers shouldn’t hang curveballs like Robin Williams or like Chris Benoit on his BoFlex.

Too soon? Nah. They quit… RRRRAHHHHH!!!

Obviously, the most eye-catching part of this video (besides the amazing Ryan Braun Team USA World Baseball Classic Jersey with American Flag Zubaz pants) is how incredible my swing continues to look after years off. It’s like riding a bike, bro.

My Response to Denver Fans after the AFC Championship Promo

Five months have passed since my last video. During that time, the WWE officially gave a “Thumbs-Down” to the Thrillride, I gave up wrestling and asked my all-time favorite floozie (she’s not a floozie) to marry me. Yes. Thrillride is engaged to be married, this spring.

It’s funny. After all that time passed and it was time to shoot this video, I wondered if anyone would watch it. Did anyone remember they subscribed to my channel? Would it get posted anywhere?

When I put the camera on the dashboard, I suddenly remembered how much fun I have making videos for the savages that follow me on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and hopefully now on AbsoluteSavage.com. Needless to say, my first video back after 5 months got 200,000+ views and became my 2nd most watched video behind the “Alumni Game” Video.

I STILL GOT IT, REGGIE RRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHH!

It’s a great outlet and makes me think about what to do with the “Thrillride Brand” in the future. I’ve given consideration to getting into stand-up comedy. But first, I need to pass my NASM CPT Exam and get this website fully functional and continue to sell medical software at a very high level – like an absolute savage!!!

If you get bored this weekend and if you live in Boston where it’s -5 degrees out, you will, check out the onslaught of hateful comments by Denver Broncos fans on this video. I must have Kayfabed the fuck out of these guys, who have no idea I’m playing a character.

To get an idea of how classless some of these guys are, I’ve heard multiple stories that a Patriots fan (who was in the Peace Corps) was knocked out cold at the Stadium following the AFC Championship Game and is still in critical condition. Apparently, these fans don’t get to the Super Bowl that often and don’t know how to handle themselves.

Of course this hasn’t been reported on any media outlets. But, I’ve heard from multiple friends.

I thought about shooting a response video to all of the hemp-necklace, earthy-crunchy, hipster, twinks from Denver. It probably would have been comedic gold.

But, my short time on the Independent Wrestling Circuit around good trainers taught me, you always let the fans “get over” on the heel when the heel gets beat. So, I figured I’d give Denver fans their moment. The better team was victorious and they deserve to celebrate.

In terms of the accusations I referenced when bashing Peyton: I was throwing out one-liners to make people laugh. It’s a comedy channel, bro. I don’t even have a problem with a guy taking HGH to recover for an injury. I was simply pointing out the hypocrisy of the fact that the media essentially passed on criticizing Peyton Manning, when Brady got crucified by ESPN, Cable News and the court of public opinion for something as stupid as deflating footballs.

Out of respect for Peyton Manning ending his career on a high note (if he choses to retire & those sexual assault charges get disproven), I’ve went ahead and purchased a Denver Broncos Zubaz out-fit from head to toe, bro.

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Needless to say, it’s bulking season. Congrats to the Super Bowl 50 Champion, Denver Broncos.

OHHHH YYYYEAHHHH! Seeya Dink!!!

Smashing Smoke – Hitting Tips Vol. 1

Obviously, there wasn’t a Vol 2 ever made. But, there probably should be. And with wrestling in the rearview mirror, it probably makes sense for me to provide some hitting advice for Little League J-Brones that will never grow up and be as talented as I was.

Take aways from this video: 1) After years off playing baseball, my swing is still fucking majestic. 2) I’m still mad at myself for leaving my vintage Thrillride Shades at the house before shooting. 3) The only reason I was shirtless was because I sweat through my tank early because it was 98 degrees, early on 4th of July weekend. It worked out because it added to the douche factor.

This one was my 2nd biggest video I ever did, until the 2016 AFC Championship video, when I talked about how Peyton Manning injects aborted fetuses in his neck before he eventually beat the Pats (which is now #2 most watched). I was at a Cape House with my buddy the “Sure Thing” Mark Shurman, chasing girls a few years ago, as this thing went viral. It was a lot of fun. Now, I’m engaged to be married. FUN TIMES.

MMMPPPOWWW!

Yes. When Pitchers Wear Helmets, MLB Cuckholds to the Pussification of America.

The Major League Baseball Players Association has sent protective helmets to 20 MLB pitchers for Spring Training. The next steps? Reportedly, corner infielders will be getting body armor and base runners can drive tanks… Filled with tampons.

Insert your comment below. Tell me how I’m being, “Tommy Tough-Nuts,” or a, “hardo.” I’d rather be those things than be soft enough to wear something incredibly goofy to protect myself against the 1 and 1,000,000 chance that I get hit in the head with a line-drive because my mechanics sucked to the point where I couldn’t get my hand up to field my position.

To be fair, this is not becoming a league rule. This is simply an option pitchers will now have to help them with some anxiety about a potential life-altering head injury. I have less of a problem with this than when guys like Barry Bonds used to wear protective gear on their arms/elbows and crowd the plate without fear of getting drilled. I sympathize with any pitcher that has been hit with a line-drive. Growing up, I was smoked off the leg on numerous occasions. But, what does this device do to protect your face, jaw, nose, etc.?

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This is a situation when – as a country – we have succumbed to the “Pussification of America.” Yes. This is where bullying and hazing have it’s place in a sports locker room. If you decide to rock one of those things, you should absolutely be emasculated by your teammates. I mean, with all due respect, it’s pretty gay. If you wear this, it just looks like you pack more fudge than the Sedona Chocolate Factory. Not that there is anything wrong with that, if that’s who you are. No disrespect intended for them or those who work at Sedona. We need to bring manufacturing jobs back in this country.

If you wear this helmet while pitching, it should be an official MLB Rule that when you go out to a bar after the game, you have to wear a sign on your chest that reads, “I’m a pre-mature ejaculator with a wart-infested baby dick.” That doesn’t need to be the exact phrase on the sign. But, it has to be something that will completely prevent you from getting laid. It’s only fair…

DARWINISM.