Reading Mean Tweets and Hate Mail

I’ve got to say that this was one of my favorite promos that I ever did. These were actual mean tweets sent my way. What wasn’t known at the time was that I was in the process of confirming a tryout with WWE at the Performance Center in Orlando. So, I was feeling pretty good about myself at the time. Well, as it turns out, they were all set with Thrillride.

I’ve since moved on and haven’t been in the ring since August of 2015. Do I intend on coming back? Not really. The moment I told people that I didn’t get signed by the WWE, I knew that I wasn’t returning. If I didn’t have any intention on leaving wrestling, I would have kayfabed that information – like you are absolutely supposed to.

The goal is to create the most absolute savage blog on the internet with epic content every day. Thrillride lives forever. RRRRRRRAHHHHHH

Yes. When Pitchers Wear Helmets, MLB Cuckholds to the Pussification of America.

The Major League Baseball Players Association has sent protective helmets to 20 MLB pitchers for Spring Training. The next steps? Reportedly, corner infielders will be getting body armor and base runners can drive tanks… Filled with tampons.

Insert your comment below. Tell me how I’m being, “Tommy Tough-Nuts,” or a, “hardo.” I’d rather be those things than be soft enough to wear something incredibly goofy to protect myself against the 1 and 1,000,000 chance that I get hit in the head with a line-drive because my mechanics sucked to the point where I couldn’t get my hand up to field my position.

To be fair, this is not becoming a league rule. This is simply an option pitchers will now have to help them with some anxiety about a potential life-altering head injury. I have less of a problem with this than when guys like Barry Bonds used to wear protective gear on their arms/elbows and crowd the plate without fear of getting drilled. I sympathize with any pitcher that has been hit with a line-drive. Growing up, I was smoked off the leg on numerous occasions. But, what does this device do to protect your face, jaw, nose, etc.?

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This is a situation when – as a country – we have succumbed to the “Pussification of America.” Yes. This is where bullying and hazing have it’s place in a sports locker room. If you decide to rock one of those things, you should absolutely be emasculated by your teammates. I mean, with all due respect, it’s pretty gay. If you wear this, it just looks like you pack more fudge than the Sedona Chocolate Factory. Not that there is anything wrong with that, if that’s who you are. No disrespect intended for them or those who work at Sedona. We need to bring manufacturing jobs back in this country.

If you wear this helmet while pitching, it should be an official MLB Rule that when you go out to a bar after the game, you have to wear a sign on your chest that reads, “I’m a pre-mature ejaculator with a wart-infested baby dick.” That doesn’t need to be the exact phrase on the sign. But, it has to be something that will completely prevent you from getting laid. It’s only fair…

DARWINISM.

Breaking: Cruz Campaign are Closet Porn Addicts

Ted Cruz and his campaign have proven – once and for all – how closet-creepy they truly are. Probably after an afternoon Bible reading, they “discovered” that one of the actresses in their recent ad was a former 90’s soft-core pornstar, Amy Lindsay. They pulled the ad, which I’ve posted above. If you want to get caught up, mix in a porn website search. It won’t take more than 30 seconds. RRRRRRRAHHHHHHH! But seriously… citing primary sources is important.

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Bottom line: she was a soft-core porn actress on Skin-emax, bro. It’s not like she was doing hardcore “butt-stuff.” AM I RIGHT???

There are two types of bros in the world:

1) Bros that watch porn, and,

2) Liars.

Listen fellas: regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship, the average dude can tell you who the top 10 “trending” pornstars are on Pornhub, RedTube, etc. If you’re thinking, “Yeah right dude, I get so much sex I never watch porn,” that would make you a false alpha, gamma-male and a liar. At a minimum, you could absolutely pick them out in a police line-up.

If you’re a dude in your early 30s like me, you can probably list some of the retro stars when you were watching through the “squiggles,” when you turned the TV to Channel 2 and put the cable box to Channel 42. That’s right. In our early teenage years, we watched porn the same way you watched Mike Tyson bite Hollyfield’s ear off – illegally and squinting harder than Kim Jong-un driving straight into the sun. I’m totally kidding. He doesn’t drive.

Okay – I got off track a little…

The point is, this woman was a soft-core porn actress from the early 90s. How much porn did the Cruz Campaign have to watch to find out that she was a pornstar? Seriously. Think about that…

Some creepy old guy in the campaign had to be like, “I thought I’d bring something potentially embarrassing to your attention. I was casually searching YouJizz, under the Softcore Retro Category, yesterday. They typically have better character development and a more coherent plot. I couldn’t help but notice that the wholesome woman we cast in this particular role happened to be riding another gentleman like American Pharaoh. It was a pretty ferocious pace.”

I think it’s more than likely that this political nerd had a Skin-emax soft-core porn VHS collection from 1994 including Deviant WhoresKinky Sex ClubExposed and Milf  – all Amy Lindsay classics. You’re welcome…

The moral of the story: This is another example of when Conservatives and Republicans lose respect from “middle of the road” people. Acting like you’re against pornography, while secretly rubbing one out to obscure soft-core skin-emax films is the height of hypocrisy.

 

Hot Take on “Pharma-Boy”

Fox-News, the New York Times, CNBC and Time Magazine all refer to him as a “Pharma-Bad-Boy.” I think I speak for all of us when I say: The fact that you are calling this 140lb beta-male a “Bad-Boy” is a prime example of the Pussification of America.

All this dink did was raise the price of a 65 year old drug from $13 to $750 per pill. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash were bad-boys in the NWO, sniffing coke of bitches titties after an episode of WCW Monday Nitro in 1998, when Pro Wrestling was like Rock & Roll.

 Pharma-Boy Arrested - Martin Shkreli

Am I an expert in the Pharmaceutical Industry? No. Let’s just say that most the pharmaceuticals I’ve taken in my life aren’t exactly, “Street Legal.” But, I am an expert in knowing that this guy is a Pee Wee Herman look-a-like with a smirk on his face like Jerry Sandusky handing out orange slices during half-time of youth a soccer game. There is a 98% chance that this dink masturbates to anime porn. Seriously. Do you even question that statistic? Look at this squid!

Bro, all the money in the world doesn’t change the fact that you have spent 20,000 hours playing World of Warcraft with your Lord of the Rings pajamas. It is NOT about the corporate greed. It’s the fact that you’re rockin’ that Columbine/Pedophile look. And, it’s creeping everyone out.

Baseball Culture Comedy: Smashing Smoke like an ABSOLUTE SAVAGE!