Tag Archives: Thrillride

Smashing Smoke Vol. 2 – Thrillride Delivers an Inspirational Laser Show for UNC Wilmington

 

Obviously, this is a must watch for any College Baseball Bro. In this video, Thrillride delivers an inspiration laser-show to the defending Colonial Athletic Association Champion UNC Wilmington Baseball Team. But, Thrilly wanted to post this publicly because this applies to every single college baseball player (particularly in New England) that have spent all winter indoors, playing long-toss, lifting weights and are now ready to head down south for the spring.

Thrilly managed to drop one-liners about Jerry Sandusky, Jared Fogle and Michael J. Fox in a single video about baseball. Those are the names that made the cut. I edited out how pitchers shouldn’t hang curveballs like Robin Williams or like Chris Benoit on his BoFlex.

Too soon? Nah. They quit… RRRRAHHHHH!!!

Obviously, the most eye-catching part of this video (besides the amazing Ryan Braun Team USA World Baseball Classic Jersey with American Flag Zubaz pants) is how incredible my swing continues to look after years off. It’s like riding a bike, bro.

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Visits a “Safe Space” at UNH

“Frat-Boys is an offensive term. They should be called, Rapist-Americans.” – Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Watch Triumph the Insult Comic dog invade a “safe space” at UNH, to slap around some limp-wristed hipsters with their false sense of piety and sunken chest cavities that are so deep, I could eat four bowls of Captain Crunch out of them. This is hilarious. It’s not as funny as when he invaded the Star Wars convention ten years ago. But, it’s fitting with how politically correct and soft America is becoming.

AbsoluteSavage.com has officially declared War on the Pussification of America. The heart of this pussification, is drilled into mindless “social justice warriors” that are brainwashed by the totalitarian left at Universities across the country. There is nobody better to attack this pussification – other than Thrillride – than Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Triumph. Now, more than ever, we need Triumph to slap these softies across the face. Seriously. Can you imagine a world with these wimps calling the shots?

Smashing Smoke – Hitting Tips Vol. 1

Obviously, there wasn’t a Vol 2 ever made. But, there probably should be. And with wrestling in the rearview mirror, it probably makes sense for me to provide some hitting advice for Little League J-Brones that will never grow up and be as talented as I was.

Take aways from this video: 1) After years off playing baseball, my swing is still fucking majestic. 2) I’m still mad at myself for leaving my vintage Thrillride Shades at the house before shooting. 3) The only reason I was shirtless was because I sweat through my tank early because it was 98 degrees, early on 4th of July weekend. It worked out because it added to the douche factor.

This one was my 2nd biggest video I ever did, until the 2016 AFC Championship video, when I talked about how Peyton Manning injects aborted fetuses in his neck before he eventually beat the Pats (which is now #2 most watched). I was at a Cape House with my buddy the “Sure Thing” Mark Shurman, chasing girls a few years ago, as this thing went viral. It was a lot of fun. Now, I’m engaged to be married. FUN TIMES.

MMMPPPOWWW!

Utlimate Brotivation: Thrillride Prepares for Alumni Game

I’m a pretty solid dude. I’m very intense at times. But, it takes a lot to get me actually angry. So, can you stop telling me that you loved my “softball” video? Never in my life did I play softball. I played baseball my entire life through college. Even though in the middle of the week during non-Conference play, a DIII College Game can turn into softball with no pitching, decent defense and a ton of hitting, it’s still a bullshit thing to say.

This is really what started the whole Thrillride. I was getting back into wrestling – just for fun. I decided to become an over the top heel using 80s-90s style promos. I decided to cut one on the Fitchburg State University Baseball team before our annual Alumni Game. One take like a pro.

First time in school history, we won the game 8-3. I went 2-3 with an RBI, Run Scored, delayed steal and I pulled off the hidden ball trick. Yes. I was an absolute savage. The only time I ever stepped on a baseball field since was to film “Smashing Smoke” – my hitting tips video.

Enjoy – Seeya Dinks!

Breaking: Cruz Campaign are Closet Porn Addicts

Ted Cruz and his campaign have proven – once and for all – how closet-creepy they truly are. Probably after an afternoon Bible reading, they “discovered” that one of the actresses in their recent ad was a former 90’s soft-core pornstar, Amy Lindsay. They pulled the ad, which I’ve posted above. If you want to get caught up, mix in a porn website search. It won’t take more than 30 seconds. RRRRRRRAHHHHHHH! But seriously… citing primary sources is important.

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Bottom line: she was a soft-core porn actress on Skin-emax, bro. It’s not like she was doing hardcore “butt-stuff.” AM I RIGHT???

There are two types of bros in the world:

1) Bros that watch porn, and,

2) Liars.

Listen fellas: regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship, the average dude can tell you who the top 10 “trending” pornstars are on Pornhub, RedTube, etc. If you’re thinking, “Yeah right dude, I get so much sex I never watch porn,” that would make you a false alpha, gamma-male and a liar. At a minimum, you could absolutely pick them out in a police line-up.

If you’re a dude in your early 30s like me, you can probably list some of the retro stars when you were watching through the “squiggles,” when you turned the TV to Channel 2 and put the cable box to Channel 42. That’s right. In our early teenage years, we watched porn the same way you watched Mike Tyson bite Hollyfield’s ear off – illegally and squinting harder than Kim Jong-un driving straight into the sun. I’m totally kidding. He doesn’t drive.

Okay – I got off track a little…

The point is, this woman was a soft-core porn actress from the early 90s. How much porn did the Cruz Campaign have to watch to find out that she was a pornstar? Seriously. Think about that…

Some creepy old guy in the campaign had to be like, “I thought I’d bring something potentially embarrassing to your attention. I was casually searching YouJizz, under the Softcore Retro Category, yesterday. They typically have better character development and a more coherent plot. I couldn’t help but notice that the wholesome woman we cast in this particular role happened to be riding another gentleman like American Pharaoh. It was a pretty ferocious pace.”

I think it’s more than likely that this political nerd had a Skin-emax soft-core porn VHS collection from 1994 including Deviant WhoresKinky Sex ClubExposed and Milf  – all Amy Lindsay classics. You’re welcome…

The moral of the story: This is another example of when Conservatives and Republicans lose respect from “middle of the road” people. Acting like you’re against pornography, while secretly rubbing one out to obscure soft-core skin-emax films is the height of hypocrisy.