Yes. When Pitchers Wear Helmets, MLB Cuckholds to the Pussification of America.

The Major League Baseball Players Association has sent protective helmets to 20 MLB pitchers for Spring Training. The next steps? Reportedly, corner infielders will be getting body armor and base runners can drive tanks… Filled with tampons.

Insert your comment below. Tell me how I’m being, “Tommy Tough-Nuts,” or a, “hardo.” I’d rather be those things than be soft enough to wear something incredibly goofy to protect myself against the 1 and 1,000,000 chance that I get hit in the head with a line-drive because my mechanics sucked to the point where I couldn’t get my hand up to field my position.

To be fair, this is not becoming a league rule. This is simply an option pitchers will now have to help them with some anxiety about a potential life-altering head injury. I have less of a problem with this than when guys like Barry Bonds used to wear protective gear on their arms/elbows and crowd the plate without fear of getting drilled. I sympathize with any pitcher that has been hit with a line-drive. Growing up, I was smoked off the leg on numerous occasions. But, what does this device do to protect your face, jaw, nose, etc.?


This is a situation when – as a country – we have succumbed to the “Pussification of America.” Yes. This is where bullying and hazing have it’s place in a sports locker room. If you decide to rock one of those things, you should absolutely be emasculated by your teammates. I mean, with all due respect, it’s pretty gay. If you wear this, it just looks like you pack more fudge than the Sedona Chocolate Factory. Not that there is anything wrong with that, if that’s who you are. No disrespect intended for them or those who work at Sedona. We need to bring manufacturing jobs back in this country.

If you wear this helmet while pitching, it should be an official MLB Rule that when you go out to a bar after the game, you have to wear a sign on your chest that reads, “I’m a pre-mature ejaculator with a wart-infested baby dick.” That doesn’t need to be the exact phrase on the sign. But, it has to be something that will completely prevent you from getting laid. It’s only fair…




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