You have seen The Vacation, his blogs on travel, weather, wrestling and being a bad ass alpha new yorker. You have seen The Vanilla Gorilla, his blogs on football, sports, pop culture and questions of the savage masses. Well now, the formidable duo are uniting down in Charlotte, NC this week to lead the charge of the Absolute Savage Takeover. You have heard of The New Age Outlaws, The Midnight Express, The Hart Foundation, and even The Legion of Doom. But none of them compare to the relentless savagery and dominance of The Killer V's. We are pulling off Doomsday Devices and 3D's all over Flair Town.
So what to bring? Thrillride hat and T-Shirts (one of every kind) in XXL size. CHECK. Go get yours for Friday or be labeled an absolute NARP and we can then only assume you're rooting for Korbinian which let's be serious, is not a good look. Protein and supplements. CHECK. Video camera, microphone, power cords, and laptop for uploading maximum Absolute Savage electric footage. CHECK. Toiletries. CHECK. Underwear and shoes...oh and pants. CHECK. 100000 CCs of raw, uninhibited exhilarating savage adrenaline. CHECK. Passes into Rough N Rowdy 3. CHECK. Oh and if you need passes or to pre-order the fights go HERE. Don't be a dink, click the link. Oh and if you're down there and need merch as you walk into the Grady Cole Center? Me and The Vacation will be posted up slinging all the Thrillride merch with some special additions. BE THERE and GET YOURS. Or I will follow you around and boo the shit out of you.
So what's on deck? Well before the fight obviously. Thursday night we will be posted up at Thrillride's weigh in and seeing the first time he and The Bavarian Hercules come face to face and look directly into each others' souls. I am not sure Korbinian has one since he doesn't seem to have balls or heart to this point. I have no idea how Barstool plans to contain the explosive animalistic RAGE which Thrilly is ready to unleash. I think that's the hardest part of all of this, honestly. The wait. Watching how hard Thrillride has worked, how bad he wants this and he still needs to wait almost 27 hours from the weigh in to get it. He's coming flying out like a tiger ready to feed. After the weigh in, I will be checking out the local Charlotte Knights game to support our savages in Casey Schroeder and other members of the Chicago White Sox as they face Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. Good god, I hate that team for that insanely long name.
The next morning, fight day, we start early, rising and SMASHING. I am going to the gym and destroying every weight in there. After, I am intaking no less than a dozen eggs and then loading up on more protein. Not too much because at noon, I have my own battle to fight. Vanilla Gorilla will be facing off against Kennedy's Garbage Plate Challenge. I am taking down all 4.5 pounds of food at a ferocious pace. I have been preparing for this. Eating so many unreasonable extra servings at every meal. I think I have gained a full 10 pounds for this. 6'2" 260 pounds of a human wood chipper showing up to The Queen City.
Then Friday night before the fight. Like I said, come see me and The Vacation at the Absolute Savage table, slinging merch and get yours to be pimpin' the BUFFEST SWAG you've ever seen. After that, The Killer V's will go watch the undercard while checking in on Thrillride and team as he prepares to go toe to toe with the Bavarian Ghost...I mean Hercules. And then, the main event. I pray Thrillride shows you mercy, Korbi. Because honestly, you deserve none. I. CAN'T. WAIT. LET'S GO. And you know The Killer V's will be there in the BUFFEST THRILLY DILLY LOOKING LIKE A MILLI SWAG, screaming so loud, IN YOUR HEAD BAVARIAN CREAMPIE and you WILL be SHOOK. Then...KNOCKOUT, baby.
Gorilla out. RAH. BTW, if you see us down there, we would love to interview savages who made the trek! Follow us on Twitter: @VanillaGorillaD and @itsTheVacation.