Aloha, Savages! So I'm savaging it up on the beach in West Palm and before I could even smash my cucumber and cayenne infused vodka cocktail my phone starts rumbling like the Silverdome when Hulk slammed Andre. I'm getting non-stop texts from my sad, desperate friends that are Jets fans because apparently gang green made a move to select #3 Overall in the NFL draft.
Ya see, every once in a while the New York Jets attempt to become relevant. They make a move to show their fanbase that they're done being betas. The only problem with the Jets is that their success rate for picking quarterbacks is as good as Shaq's stat line behind the 3 point line.
The last time they had a pick this high and were targeting a QB they took Mark Sanchez, who is best known for shoving a nitrate filled hot dog down his disgusting throat on the sideline and for running directly into the ass of his own offensive lineman.
In order to move up the three spots from #6 to #3 The Jets gave up what LOOKS like a lot to the Colts. They traded their 1st round pick this year, two 2nd round picks this year and another 2nd rounder next year. All things considered, both teams make out pretty good, but again, this is the Jets we're talking about and they'll probably screw it up somehow. That's their DNA. It's the beta way.
Now, if for some reason the Jets do not take a QB, then the franchise should be shut down faster than a NARP at Wet Republic trying to hit on a 10. Just cut your losses and close up shop. The embarrassment ain't worth it.
HOWEVER, they should be left with their pick from Allen, Rosen, Darnold, Mayfield, depending on who's left. All of those are good options that any fanbase with as much bad history as the Jets should be excited about. The only problem is you just KNOW one of them is going to be a BUST of epic proportions. Most likely, he'll be the guy wearing green and I ain't talkin' money, I'm taking the J-E-T-S, Just End The Season.
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