Spoiler: I DON'T DO STAR RATINGS. This isn't going to be your typical "review" of WrestleMania. There's thousands of these on the web all saying the same shit. Feel free to knock those out. I'm not interested in that and I think most of you get tired of the lack of savagery and abundance of redundancy.
Nah, what I'm gonna do is give you a look into my very own Savage experience, which took place from ringside, Row 10, rockin' my custom Degeneration X hat, dead center from start to finish. I DIDN'T PEE ONCE. BLADDER OF A SAVAGE! Ya know, as early as this morning I've been reading the detractors with their beta-like perspective towards what WrestleMania is all about, so what you may read below is something you don't agree with, but I suggest you hold off on your haterade until I'm finished.
To be frank, and I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but if you've never experienced a WrestleMania IN PERSON then you're commenting with limited information. The feeling inside the area during Mania is something all to its own. It's a euphoric high that last around 7 hours. You don't have your couch, you can't take a shit and you won't be in your bed 1 minute after the credits role. The party don't stop, baabbaayyyy when you're live, pal.
The first thing I want to cover is the WrestleMania set. It was an absolute hammerdick setup,where they had a New Orleans style party mask as the main center piece.
They brought back pyro and of course had their fair share of baller ass entrances. My personal favorite was Charlotte, who literally carried herself with the aura of her father and the sex appeal of a young Queen. Others that impressed where Triple H and Stephanie, who both looked incredible, Shinsuke had Alice Cooper's bad ass female guitarist tear his theme song to shreds. Alexa Bliss came down from an actual pedestal, both during her entrance and after losing her title to Nia Jax. The Undertaker as per usual was in his own league. It's Life meets Death, and there's nothing fake about Taker. He's the Deadman. For any of you who said you were "over" seeing the Undertaker, shame on you, dude. TAKE A LAP, JABRONI.
Despite what the internet will tell you, the crowd was hot all night. For those of who think we were "dead", to that I say how about you trying getting hammered and stealing the show at Karaoke until 4AM in the morning the night before, then crush Axxess at 8am, THEN head to the Superdome and scream your face off until Midnight ... THEN COME TO TALK TO ME, BRO! Dead? Fuck outta here. We were HOT BOYS all night long like Flair at a Marriott Hotel post match victory party.
Here's a quick breakdown of the savagery ...
POP OF THE NIGHT
The biggest pop of the night was Lesnar beating Reigns. So for everyone who thinks that part sucks, well, I can tell you first hand that it certainly did not. I find it funny that people are still talking about how the match was bad. WHO CARES, DUDE! The Beast won after the entire world thought they were smarter than Vince McMahon. It's comical. Lesnar hit his 28th F5, got the victory and the crowd left happy. What more can you ask for?
Speaking of pops, Cena sat about 100 feet from me. He was crushing beers, whether or not they were alcoholic or not, I have no idea. Anyway, after what may have been the match of the night (Asuka/Charlotte), the crowd when from 100 to 200 when Cena sprinted down the aisle after he got "the news". That news of course was The Undertaker... I got more chills than when I see a new Thrillride video appear on Instagram.
SAVAGE OF THE NIGHT
Braun Strowman. If anyone else is given that spot it doesn't get over, period. Braun is so good in such a short period of time. He's this era's Hulk Hogan. Larger Then Life Babyface that everyone universally loves. He got an 8 year over in 10 minutes ... that same 8 year old had his name chanted during the main event ... NICHOLAS! NICHOLAS! NICHOLAS!
SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT
Ronda F'n Rousey. Holy f'n shit, man. She was unbelievable. That entire match from start to finish was LEGEND status. The entrances were all dope. Triple H and Steph continued with their biker theme, both showing off the fact that they've been practicing a little OPERATION SHREDIFICATION - they looked like a million bucks. Then we got Kurt Angle in his singlet, finally. He looked great for his age and in-ring lay off. Then finally, Rousey entered the arena and the place went nuts. It was a nervous energy with super low expectations ... all of which Rousey took an ABSOLUTE SHIT on. She was the star of the show. She operated at a ferocious pace. ALPHA AS FUCK. Arm bar after arm bar. Facial expressions, sweet ass Piper inspired gear and THE BUFFEST SWAG YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. She was incredible and I'm calling it right now - she WILL headline WrestleMania in the future against Charlotte Flair. Lock it up.
MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
Elias ... just kidding, but that was a hell of a swerve. The lights went out and the place erupted only for Elias to strike a chord and put on the show of a lifetime! ... fast forward through a Cena squash and we were hit by Kevin Dunn with THE GONG, THE SMOKE and THE MYSTIC. The Undertaker rose from the dead. We got the hat/jacket call back to last year's WrestleMania 33 conclusion. The suspense mounted .. BOOM! ... LIGHTNING AND THUNDER for days and the Deadman Cometh. What a moment. Taker ended up squashing Cena. To quote Roddy Piper, "when you think you've got all the answers, I change the questions.". It looks like we're getting Cena vs. Taker at WM35. That's where my money is.
Never say never in the World Wrestling Federation. That's what Vince McMahon would always say throughout my childhood and it still stands true today ... and I got to witness it first hand. Daniel Bryan returned with savage tears in his eyes. He didn't miss a step. Other than the fight that almost broke out in front of me because of some NARP who was mad about the lack of appreciation for Sami Zayn (plus the fact that he crushed about 5 cocktails before the Rousey match), this was amazing. The crowd reaction was priceless. 77,000 strong in the same arejna Bryan won the World Heavyweight Title. It's a fairy tale ending for the ultimate story of chasing your dreams .... like an absolute savage. FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS AT A FEROCIOUS PACE! I expect the scene will be similar in a few short days at the Grady Cole Center ... MmmmmPOW!
The crowd booed. Roman Bled. Lesnar Won. The crowd cheered. Honestly, screw the story. We all know the deal. If you're not willing to accept it and just enjoy the spectacle of what WrestleMania is, that's on you dude. This isn't baseball. Vince McMahon is not managing a bullpen in late innings, he's putting on the greatest live show you will ever see in your life. I'll be the first to admit, I was getting angrier and angrier with each F5 that Reigns kicked out of. But that's what it's all about - to show savage emotion and be taken on a ride that suspends your disbelief. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Vince slapped us in the face and let 77,000 people know, including myself, that he is in fact, our daddy. So savage it hurts.
The crowd left happy ... and then we burned Bourbon Street to the ground like we were Austin checking into the Smackdown Hotel, OOOHHHHH HELLLL YEAAAHHH!!!!
The whole night was incredible. WrestleMania is no longer just one major event/PPV. It hasn't been for sometime. It takes over an entire City. This year is was New Orleans and next year it'll be New York at Metlife Stadium. It's kind of a bummer for me since it's my hometown, but at least I'll save some cash on travel.
..... but that's a year from now. My attention is now turned towards a bigger event - Rough N' Rowdy 3, where the original Absolute Savage himself, The One Man Thrillride will make sure everyone knows that he is THE MAIN EVENT when pimps it down the aisle and pummels the Bavarian Hercules macro counting face into oblivion.
BUY THE FIGHT HERE! DON'T BE A DINK, CLICK THE LINK ... https://www.roughnrowdybrawl.com/
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